Relationship Counselling, Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction Therapy for Singles, Couples & Groups

Hot off the press

Hot off the press








*****Next Female partners support group workshop is on Saturday 25 March 2017 in Weston Super mare at 10.30am to 12pm***



Sex & Love Addiction annual conference
Transitions: A time of reflection
Saturday 7 November 2015 (10am to 4pm)
Venue: E5, Jamaica Street, Stokes Croft, Bristol BS2 8JP
Cost: £65 Lunch will be provided, plus mochas, cappuccinos, lattes, tea, coffee, soft drinks in the Bistro

“I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be” -Joyce Meyers
In recovery, having therapy, working with a sponsor, attending a 12 steps group (SA, SAA, SLAA, Circles UK, Lucy Faithfaithfull Foundation or other) for sex addiction, love addiction or compulsivity behaviours; AA, drug addiction recovery – This annual conference is for you.
A time to reflect; to interact with those in recovery in a group setting, with teaching, group therapy and just being…
A time to take stock. Considering the process of change and transition; incremental shifts, not big leaps; the journey from there to here and stuff in between. How did I get here? Where do I want to be?
Contemplation, lounging in soft chairs, chat, own space, quiet reflection, interspersed with quality teaching from an experienced sex addiction therapist.
A non-threatening, non-taxing, reflexive day for chilling with a mocha, latte, tea, coffee, sort drinks as you lounge and interact or create own space in multiple rooms – in company with likeminded individuals in a highly confidential setting.
Space is limited. Book your place by emailing the facilitator (Gary McFarlane) and paying a deposit of £25 to secure your place.
(Pay online: Kairos Therapy Services Ltd – A/c No: 52210160 Sort code: 30 94 83).
Tel: 0786 609 7247
Website: &
“…all my gratitude and thanks to you and the work you are doing in the world. I contacted you in shame and confusion, concerned about the potential for this “thing” to take over my will and create havoc and deep upset in my life. I came to the end of our time together with understanding, tools and a knowledge that I am in charge – what a gift! I appreciate your patient listening and explaining, your flexibility around my process. As well as having a “handle” on addiction. I have found a new energy around personal development and spirituality as I have let go of the self-soothing that kept things in place, I no longer need. For all this I am very grateful.” – August 2015

Workshop for Woman partners of sex addicts   Saturday 28 March 2015, 10.30am to 12noon

 3rd Floor, Trelawny House, Surrey Street, Bristol Bs2 8PS        Gary McFarlane  0786 609 7247         £30

 Email:    Website:     

Highly confidential – for women partners ONLY of sex addicts                                  Pre-registration is essential for admission.

Partner or wife of a Judge, a solicitor, a Barrister, an Accountant, a teacher, an IT Consultant, a utilities operator, a facilities manager, a HR Personnel, a company Director, an Actor. Whichever of these male personnel to whom you are in relationship with, sex addiction can have its tentacles into your relationship with them and leave you carrying a very heavy burden, with few people there for you to talk to about this world which has taken a toll on your relationship and continues to undermine it.

 Will it ever get better? Can he really stop the behaviours? Will I ever be able to trust him again? How do I know the children are safe? How do I compete with that stuff? Was it my fault or did I contribute? Was I not enough or good enough? How could I have been so stupid? How is it that I did not heed the signs that I now look back on and can see them?

 What do I do now? Do I really believe there is such a thing as sex addiction? Isn’t it just greed for more sex? What a nightmare? Where can I turn for help? What if people find out? How can I bear to carry this on my own? What about the children?

 I am scared to join some form of women’s group. Their problems are not like mine. What if it gets out. My husband won’t agree to me attending a group. He is getting his help, but I have to hold on in there and not tell anyone in case.

 It’s just not right. It’s just not fair. This is my life. He has ruined it. What am I going to do?

 Gary McFarlane, is a Mediator, Relationship Counsellor, sex therapist, sex Addiction therapist & love Addiction therapist.

 A past career as a Solicitor of some 25 years equips him well with the dynamics of understanding and balancing confidentiality at a high level, with discretion, tact and discipline.

 Women partners of sex addicts are frequently overlooked when it comes to treatment regimes – which typically focus on the man. Here is an introductory, highly confidential workshop for women ONLY to consider just some of the issues raised about – if you are able to put some trust in this facility which is there for you to get the help you need.

 Call me for a chat.

 Why group? You will face the strongest of resistance about getting involved. Many women will, however, testify to the fact that joining a group was the best outcome for their recovery. Why? The relief that other progressive, “got it all together women” are similarly affected! There is immediate shame reduction when you see normal, every day women facing the very same issues. Remember “Shame” is the base for keeping the men’s addiction firmly in place and shame will similarly keep you from the group.



Graduation of first cohort of sex addiction treatment specialists

The treatment of sex addiction has been given a boost by the graduation of nine students from what is the first comprehensive eight months training course in sex addiction. The course is the brainchild of Dr Thaddeus Birchard, Chairperson of the Association of Sex Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity.

He is also the Clinical Director of the Marylebone Centre in central London where he has pioneered the UK’s first sex addiction treatment programme for men and women over the last 10 years. Having achieved this long time ambition, the Association is looking forward to admitting students as the second cohort.

Dr Birchard said of the students “they have demonstrated an exceptionally high level of competency and professionalism, which is an endorsement of their existing practices in the field of Relationship & Sex therapy”.

He reflects on the fact that “The completion of the course by this first cohort creates a pool of highly trained experts in the field of sex and love addiction from which the public will have increased availability as they practice in different regions of the country”.

Gary McFarlane is one of those graduates who treats clients face to face and via Skype throughout the country. He endorses the course and says that “it is hard to belief that we are the first cohort in the country to have undergone such comprehensive training in the cutting edge thoughts and practice of sex addiction treatment and we benefitted from the USA experience and from some highly committed, competent and specialist trainers such as Paula Hall and Joy Rosendale. They ensure that we develop treatment regimes which also provide support for partners of addicts”.

Speaking of the partners of addicts, Gary explains that they are mostly women and can be easily ignored and all attention focuses on the addict. He plans to develop a partner’s support group.

Gary is holding a symposium to facilitate information exchange for those involved with sex and love addicts in the southwest on Saturday morning of 14 May 2011 between 9.30 to 11.30am. He can be contacted on 0786 609 7247 and

Notes to editor

Sex addiction is a pattern of sexual behaviour that brings with it harmful consequences, but is repetitious and ultimately unfulfilling. It feels out of control, preoccupying and is normally used to anaesthetise negative feeling states. It is defined not by ‘what you do’ but ‘why you do it’. Underpinning it is “Shame”  .

Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas, Russell Brand and David Duchoyny are some of the celebs attributed by the media as having expressions of sex addiction. The suffering partners remain in the shadows. Little is yet said of the celebs who suffer from Love addiction and who are mostly women. The gender split has something to do with preferences for romantic stimuli of verbal and written communication which comes from romance – expressed in the use of the social networks or the mostly male preference for visual internet porn images and cybersex relationships.

The American Psychiatric Association is presently deliberating on whether to include sex addiction as a defined and classified mental health condition for medics worldwide. That will no doubt give an air of legitimacy to a condition that plagues the lives of many peoples at an increasing rate since the advent of the internet.

Gary McFarlane was a solicitor for some 22 years and is aware that sex addiction is a significant problem within the various professions. Stress and anxiety are traits which feed the propensity towards sex addiction. He is all too aware that confidentiality issues are so crucial that it determines whether or not such professionals and others seek the help which they need.

Contact: Gary McFarlane BA, LLM

Gary is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment all of which are undertaken by Skype, telephone and face to face with clients from all parts of the country. He is also a member of BACP and the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity.

****My Book “The Art of Loving” is now available from AMAZON.COM – ISBN 9781463556952****

Tel: 0786 609 7247


Partners information pack

Female partners of Sex Addicts – receive your “Partner’s information pack” by sending to me a request by email.


Therapist Wanted for: Kairos Therapy Services Ltd
Experienced therapist, with a strong Christian ethos and background to join an experienced relationship counsellor (Gary McFarlane) to integrate into his counselling practice as a part of its development and expansion, providing therapy, face to face & online; to compliment his practice areas below, bringing other disciplines and modalities. Adaptability and willingness to embrace changed methods of delivery is essential. Well practiced and desiring to develop self within a team and as a part of an established practice is essential. Location is not restricted, as the team embrace online therapy. Employed or Consultancy team member are options. Building a brand long term under the Kairos name, with excellence and honouring Christ with your gift and talents are hallmark traits.
All aspects of the role are open for discussion.
Tel: 0786 609 7247   Email:       Web:




Bringing colour back to life

Try out this App to help re-kindle intimacy into your relationship: Called “Pillow Talk”.