Chatty stuff
“Shame” – the driver which maintains sex addiction
Vital to understand the interplay between Shame and Guilt in maintaining sex addiction. Addiction and shame are inseparable. Shame and guilt are emotions causing negative self-evaluation. There is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says: ” This behaviour is bad”. Shame says: “I’m a bad person”.
Multiple addictions
Work on one addiction and self help techniques with inadequate rehab, counseling, sex therapy and sex facts may see other addictions re-surfacing, like gambling addiction, alcoholism & alcohol addiction, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, drug addiction, substance abuse, heroin addiction, cocaine addiction and food addiction. The need to attend SAA, a 12 steps programme, good sex facts, what is good sex, what is kinky sex, defining whether you are suffer from love & sex addiction, masturbation addiction, supersex, sex addiction recovery are just some of the features and work which you will undertake with a competent sex addiction therapist.
Not about sex, all about an addiction!
Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts!
The brain will do all that it must do to quench pain and re-establish harmony. There are different parts of the brain with different functions. The brain hates pain. It loves pleasure. Neurochemicals are released and affect the brain in certain situations and extreme environments.
The logical thinking side of the brain frquently gets overridden by the feeling side of the brain and causes us to go against logic, in favour of feelings; feelings drive us to mask pain with “false” intimacies. Problem! There is always a kick back. The kick back eventually hurts us more than the feeling which we sought to quench. The temporary fix is short lived and we pay a price much higher than we had ever thought, expected or bargained for. Help is available. We can work by Skype. Send me an email.
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Cycle of Addiction
→ Shame, Guilt, distress, Despair, stress, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem →
↑ ↓ ↓ ↓
↓
After acting out, the tension release Need to get rid of those feelings of shame, Guilt, stress etc,
is short lived and a low is experience after the high therefore preoccupation with thoughts of acting out.
The Shame, Guilt, distress, Despair, Stress, etc Those thoughts become a part of the ritual and a getting
from which relief was sought, returns with a vengeance. ready to act out adds to the increasing sexual arousal.
The desire to self soothe builds up over time and the cycle ↓
starts again.
↑ ↓
← The acting out/compulsive behaviour kicks in. ie viewing porn, ←
masturbating, prostitution, cruising, using escorts or cybersex etc
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