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	<title>Relationship Counselling &#124; GaryMcFarlane.com &#187; Singleness Issues</title>
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	<link>http://www.garymcfarlane.com</link>
	<description>Relationship Counselling For Married Couples and Singles</description>
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		<title>Buy ebook now £7.99!</title>
		<link>http://www.garymcfarlane.com/buy-ebook-now-7-9/</link>
		<comments>http://www.garymcfarlane.com/buy-ebook-now-7-9/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Mar 2011 17:18:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gary McFarlane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conflict Resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singleness Issues]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.garymcfarlane.com/?p=302</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Now available from AMAZON.COM &#8211; ISBN 9781463556952]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.garymcfarlane.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/ebookcoverjpeg-110311.bmp"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-278" title="ebookcoverjpeg 110311" src="http://www.garymcfarlane.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/ebookcoverjpeg-110311.bmp" alt="" /></a></p>
<p>Now available from AMAZON.COM &#8211; ISBN 9781463556952</p>
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		<title>Chatty stuff</title>
		<link>http://www.garymcfarlane.com/chatty-stuff/</link>
		<comments>http://www.garymcfarlane.com/chatty-stuff/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Mar 2011 16:30:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gary McFarlane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sexual Issues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singleness Issues]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.garymcfarlane.com/?p=281</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Not about sex, all about an addiction! Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts! The brain will do all that [...]]]></description>
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<p>Not about sex, all about an addiction!</p>
<p>Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts!</p>
<p>The brain will do all that it must do to quench pain and re-establish harmony. There are different parts of the brain with different functions. The brain hates pain. It loves pleasure. Neurochemicals are released and affect the brain in certain situations and extreme environments.</p>
<p>The logical thinking side of the brain frquently gets overridden by the feeling side of the brain and causes us to go against logic, in favour of feelings; feelings drive us to mask pain with “false” intimacies. Problem! There is always a kick back. The kick back eventually hurts us more than the feeling which we sought to quench. The temporary fix is short lived and we pay a price much higher than we had ever thought, expected or bargained for. Help is available. We can work by Skype. Send me an email.</p>
<p>——————————————————————</p>
<p>Cycle of Addiction</p>
<p><strong>            →    Shame, Guilt, distress, Despair, stress, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem   →                     </strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong>         ↑                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             ↓                          ↓                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         ↓</p>
<p><strong> </strong>                                                                                             ↓</p>
<p><strong>After acting out, the tension release          <strong>                                      Need to</strong> <strong>get rid of those feelings of shame, Guilt, stress etc,</strong></strong></p>
<p><strong>is short lived and a low is experience after the high    </strong>                               <strong>therefore preoccupation with thoughts of acting out.</strong></p>
<p><strong><strong>The Shame, Guilt, distress, Despair, Stress, etc                                     <strong>Those thoughts become a part of the ritual and a getting </strong></strong></strong></p>
<p><strong><strong>from which relief was sought, returns with a vengeance.                  <strong>ready to act out adds to the increasing sexual arousal.</strong></strong></strong></p>
<p><strong><strong>The desire to self soothe builds up over time  and the cycle                                                                          ↓</strong></strong></p>
<p><strong><strong>starts again.</strong></strong></p>
<p>   ↑                                                                                                                                                              ↓<strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>                      <strong>←        The acting out/compulsive behaviour kicks in. ie viewing porn,             ←</strong></strong></p>
<p><strong>                                         <strong>masturbating, prostitution, cruising, using escorts or cybersex etc</strong></strong></p>
<p><br class="spacer_" /></p>
<p><a href="http://www.garymcfarlane.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/ebookcoverjpeg-110311.bmp"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-278" title="ebookcoverjpeg 110311" src="http://www.garymcfarlane.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/ebookcoverjpeg-110311.bmp" alt="" /></a></p>
<p>Now available from AMAZON.COM and AMAZON.CO.UK &#8211; ISBN 9781463556952</p>
<p>*********STOP PRESS****************</p>
<p>WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.</p>
<p>CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.</p>
<p>*************************************</p>
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		<title>Why do I see &#8220;Red&#8221; when I have contact with my mother?</title>
		<link>http://www.garymcfarlane.com/why-do-i-see-redwhen-i-have-contact-with-my-mother/</link>
		<comments>http://www.garymcfarlane.com/why-do-i-see-redwhen-i-have-contact-with-my-mother/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:35:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gary McFarlane</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Audios]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conflict Resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce and Separation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexual Issues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singleness Issues]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.garymcfarlane.com/?p=102</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I love my mother dearly, but for some reason, I get so annoyed at her for the least thing. Whether we are speaking on the phone or I go around to see her, I catch myself feeling antagonised by her every comments. She does not say anything particularly different from the usual way that she [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I love my mother dearly, but for some reason, I get so annoyed at her for the least thing. Whether we are speaking on the phone or I go around to see her, I catch myself feeling antagonised by her every comments. She does not say anything particularly different from the usual way that she has always been with me. What&#8217;s going on? It wasn&#8217;t always like this.<br />
&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<br />
&#8220;Possessive&#8221; &#8211; of my partner? No, that is not a word that fits our relationship; or at least it didn&#8217;t use to. &#8220;Controlling&#8221;? How dear you suggest that of me &#8211; of all people. Yet, the relationship has shifted since she went back to work and is no longer at home when I get back. Don&#8217;t like it, but I did agree to it and so what is the problem?<br />
&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<br />
Do these scenarios ring a bell for you?</p>
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