Relationship Counselling (Individuals or Couples)
Lost each other – Life stages maybe. I’m not the person I use to be. You’re not the person I fell in love with”.
Lost that loving feeling – I just don’t love you like I use to. I think that I love you, but I am not in love with you!
Loss of Desire – “I know I should want to, but I can’t muster the desire. Is there something wrong with me? I don’t really miss it that much. What’s all the hype?”
“Learning that most women experience a decline in sexual drive after the passing of that early ‘in love’ stage of a relationship came as a great relief to many couples, defusing the anger and confusion many had been experiencing” – Bettina Arndt
Lack of Orgasm – “I’m told I will know it when I do, but I don’t. May be I have; perhaps not; guess I can’t; did I miss it. The earth didn’t move for me! What I have is ok, but I am curious if I am missing something else”
SHAME + NARCISSISM = SEX/LOVE ADDICTION
Undermine shame. Expose Narcissism and you are on your way to sobriety
Why can’t I get control? Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I stop? I really don’t want to be doing this any more!
CYCLE OF ADDICTION
“Shame” – the driver which maintains sex addiction
Vital to understand the interplay between Shame and Guilt in maintaining sex addiction. Addiction and shame are inseparable. Shame and guilt are emotions causing negative self-evaluation. There is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says: ” This behaviour is bad”. Shame says: “I’m a bad person”.
The story is told of an old Rabbi:
“When I was young, I set out to change the world. When I grew a little older, I perceived that this was too ambitious, so I set out to change my State.
"Gary McFarlane.com ~ Bringing colour back to life"